12)ᥫ᭡.NIGHT SKY

ANAISHA ✿

After the whole day shopping everyone was exhausted. Everyone disappeared into their rooms. I was sitting on the balcony of our room, on the floor, in a tight ball, hugging my knees to my chest. I locked my arms around my legs to hold myself close and tilted my head back, staring straight up at the night sky full of tiny, twinkling stars, full of hope. A gentle breeze was tossing my hair, blowing the strands across my face as I looked up at the sky. Everything around me was perfectly silent, wrapped in a deep, peaceful stillness. The soft moonlight was washing over me, and as I stared at the stars, it was soothing my heart. Sleep was far away from my eyes, it never came for years, I barely slept for two- three hours.After Lakshya was born, Mumma developed some heart problems, but as time passed and with proper treatment, she got better. Papa was not my father in law's PA at that time. He used to work as an employee in their office and his salary was decent. But the heart treatment was expensive and the medical bills were a heavy burden in a middle class pocket. At that time I was doing house work during the day and studying at night. I was eleven when I learned how to cook. I was forcing myself to stay awake because I would study at night so I wouldn't fall behind and to get good marks.Slowly, over time, that force became a habit of staying up at night to study. I would only sleep for two or three hours. I didn't even realize when that 'forcing' turned into a habit. And after that day, that incident seven years ago sleep never came. Whenever it became hard to even breathe, when the weight of it all began to feel suffocating, in the deep silence of the night—When the echoes of that day's screams would start to ring in my ears, making my chest tighten—I would go up to the terrace. Under the vast night sky full of stars, I was tying my ghunghroo around my ankles and started dance, pouring the pain out from my heart. Dancing under the stars, was the only thing that could quiet my mind, it was soothing my heart, keeping alive the hope in me, and give me strength. I loved stars more than the moon. Sometimes I was crying until my strength gives out and finally, exhaustion would wrap itself around me, forcing my body into a rest it desperately needed—and then that forced habit turned into insomnia.My trace broke when someone cleared their throat. Ekansh was standing at the door of the balcony with two cups in his hands, looking at me with the softness in his eyes which I never saw in anyone's eyes in years for me.“I think a cup of tea will going well on this little chilling night.” he smiled, walking towards me.Murmuring a “Thanks” I took the cup from his hand with a faint smile on my lips. He sat beside me, legs stretched out, one hand behind for support and the other hand holding a cup of tea. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes his face scrunched, it was very clear from his face that he didn't like tea at all. But he was looking cute the expressions on his face.My hands tightened around the cup instantly, suddenly very much aware of our closeness. I took a sip and my heart fluttered. He added one spoon extra sugar just the way I liked. He noticed that small thing too? I knew he always notices things but this tiny detail which I don't think anyone ever noticed before, only Mumma knows this. Thousands no no millions of butterflies were dancing in my stomach. It felt so different for the first time I felt how it felt. When someone noticed your small things. When someone actually makes efforts to make you comfortable. I knew he doesn't drink tea, he drinks black coffee. But today for me he was drinking tea. And he was doing this from the day one of our marriage. In my life no one ever did that for me, not even my family. I smiled, my eyes got moist at the realization. He always does things without making them obviously, silently.“It's good." I whispered."Mujhe nahi pata tha aap itni achi chai bana sakte hain” I teased.(I didn't know you could make such good tea.)He chuckled. “Aap abhi apni pati ke talents janti nahi hain. Dheere dheere waqt ke saath pata chal jayenge” He winked.(You don't know your husband's talents yet. Slowly, with time, you will find out.)I laughed softly. Today was the first time in my whole life I never went out shopping. Of course I did my basic shopping, jeans, kurti, top that was too after my college when I joined the academy. His siblings, their love, and mischievousness made me remember Kriti and Ankit. Ankit always used to do mischief like that and then started crying if someone said a single word to him. He always used to come running to me for his complaints, when Kriti teased him by saying his was looking like a girl cute cute, to save him from Mumma’s anger. My eyes were stinging. Sometimes I thought things would be different if seven years ago that day didn't exist. But in this moment with him I just wanted to feel its softness whole, this moment feels fragile but warming to my heart.We sat there in peaceful silence, sipping my tea, under the night sky staring up at the stars.“I like stars more than the moon." I confessed unplanned, unknowingly.

EKANSH ⁠✧

I was in my study. I took a leave for a few days but I needed to be prepared for the upcoming project. It was already 2 in the night when I returned to our room, but a frown instantly crept on my face when my eyes fell on the empty bed. Anaisha was not there, maybe she was in the bathroom. But then my gaze fell on the opened balcony door, so I went there. And there she was sitting on the cold floor, lost in her thoughts, arm curled around her knees, her eyes were locked up in the night sky, her face glowing like an angel in moonlight, the chilling breeze brushed her face and made her hair strand flowing with its rhythm.I was leaning against the door frame, hands crossed over my chest and my gaze gently set on her, admiring her. When the cool breeze hit my face hard, I straightened immediately and came back to reality. Today there was a little freezing weather outside, she caught a cold. I thought something and rushed out of the room quietly.Pouring the milk in the pan and started grating the ginger. I was making adrak wali chai for my wife. I added an extra spoonful of sugar. It was exactly how Anaisha liked it. I had seen her, she always added an extra spoonful of sugar into her tea. I did not drink tea, but today, I prepared a cup for myself as well. I simply did not want her to feel like I did something extra or bothered myself for her. Because I knew she would not like that. She doesn't like to bother people. In these few days of our marriage I understood this. Scratching the back of my neck out of embarrassment and smiling like a damn teenager.What the hell was happening with me?She was still lost in her thoughts when I went there with our adrak wali chai so I cleared my throat not wanting to startle her with my sudden presence. She turned her head to look at me. My eyes instantly softened like always whenever they fell on her and lips curved up.“I think a cup of tea will go well on this little chilling night.” I said moving towards her.“Thanks” she whispered with a shy smile on my lips.and took the cup from my hand. Our fingers brushed lightly and a current ran down my spine, my jaw locked. My heart damn it started beating so fast. And the way her cheeks turned crimson, I can say she felt the same.I straightened instantly, cleared my throat and sat beside her, legs stretched, one hand behind for support and the other hand holding a cup of tea. I can feel the tension in her body just like mine.We were sitting in comfortable silence looking at the night sky. With a heavy heart I took a sip of tea and as soon as it touched my tongue, the moment flashed in front my eyes when I started disposing the tea. That man was the reason I dispiseted tea. Bastard I was cursing him under my breath. Jaw clinched at the memory. But I swallowed the tea down my throat, still drinking it, for the woman sitting beside me, her because I don't want to make it obvious to her. I placed the cup down. Honestly it's not that bad actually it's good. And still I don't like tea.My mind was fluid with Dadu's memory, the nights he told me stories of stars.“It's good " her voice came soft, bringing me back to this moment.She teased me a little. My heart felt easy at the thought that she was comfortable with me now but hesitant, guarded but. Slowly slowly opening up. My lips curved slightly unknowingly."I like stars more than the moon” she confessed softly, suddenly and unexpectedly.I was just listening to her, staring at the spark in her eyes that melting my heart couldn't quite place yet.“I used to do my homework under this twinkling night sky when I was child. And kathak riyaz. That was so peaceful and everything went silent, the chaos of the outside world." She said lost in her thoughts still staring up—Like lost in something far deep, I wanted to ask her what it is ? I didn't push, not wanting to break this moment just listening to her.Then she turned to me with a wide smile on her face unguarded. “Sometimes I try to count the stars and sometimes I make a shape of something by joining them, most of the time I imagine a woman doing kathak or mango.”"Mango?”"Uhh haa, maybe because I like them” she murmured, embarrassed.I chuckled."My dadu used to tell me about the stars. The planets, He was fascinated by them," I said, my voice dropping to a soft, nostalgic tone. "He didn't just look at them; he understood them. He had this incredible knowledge about every planet and every constellation."I looked up, searching for the patterns he once pointed out to me. "He used to say that the stars were the universe’s way of keeping its history alive. He could name a planet just by the way it glowed or tell me stories of ancient explorers who used the stars to find their way home when they were lost."I turned my head slightly to look at her. "He was a man of science, but he spoke about the sky like it was poetry. He believed that if you watched the planets long enough, you could understand the rhythm of life itself."Anaisha was listening intently, her tea forgotten for a moment. I could see the moonlight reflecting in her wide, curious eyes. It felt strange to share this—I rarely spoke about my Dadu to anyone—but with her, the words flowed naturally.She was listening carefully, curious. I could feel my heart beating fast again when she smiled. And I was fully lost in her smile."Chai thandi ho gayi hai main garam karke le aati hoon.” She said glanced at my tea cut which I forgot long back.(The tea has gone cold, I will go and reheat it.)"You don't have t—"“I want to ekansh." She cut me in middle.(I want to, Ekansh.)And my heart skipped a beat and I couldn't even bring myself to give her a nod. She picked up my cup and left.I turned to look back up at the sky. My dadu he was the closest person to me. He was my hero, my guide. The only person who believed in me fully. He taught me the value of family. He used to say “ekansh yeh parivaar takat hai humari. Hume vishwas hai tum pe beta ki tum kabhi humari izzat aur parivar ko jhukne nahi doge.”(Ekansh, this family is our strength. I have faith in you, son, that you will never let our honor or our family bow down.)My eyes stings and My voice heavy with emotions. "Dadu I hope maine niraash nahi kiya hai aapko. Main meri Puri koshish karta hun sabko jod ke rakhne ki and I tried to protect that truth—"(Dadu, I hope I haven't disappointed you. I try my best to keep everyone together...)I couldn't bring myself to complete the sentence which changed the perspective of my parents, everyone about me. But I didn't bow in front of this world and I'll never in this life. My jaw clinched.“Ekansh" her soft voice brings me back from my thoughts.She was looking at me confused and her eyes searching. But didn't asked.I looked at her confused after seeing coffee in it instead of tea."You don't have to change for me either ekansh.” She said softly, "I know you don't like tea.”"Akele aap hi nahi hain jo notice karte hain." She said with a teasing smile on her lips and mischief in her eyes.(You are not the only one who notices things.)And my heart stopped. She knew, she noticed. And that's why she made coffee for me. My lips curved heat rushed to my ears and neck.And I realised this woman sitting beside me was pullig me towards her without even knowing or trying. Effortlessly…This moment felt like calm after so many years, for the first time after dadu left me. Because she was in it with simply sitting beside me under this night sky.A/NWishing you a very Happy New Year! May this year be the one where your burdens feel lighter and your heart feels fuller. May you find comfort in the small moments and strength in the quiet ones. Thank you for being a part of this journey; I hope it continues with the same love and that new friends join us along the way.Thank you for your patience and for staying with me.